Why asking 'what are you' can often be offensive

Why asking 'what are you' can often be offensive

My French accent has always been source of questions in Miami. Despite my 11 years of residency in the so called "melting pot" city, I have never spent one day in Miami without answering the "where are you from' question. It became my daily routine but as the years passed by I also realized that another question has been thrown at me even before I started talking. 'What are you?', or 'what is your ethnic background?' has become the new rite of passage for any social event I am attending. At the beginning, I was amused by the question as I felt empowered by a mission to educate people on mixed offspring, but the usual reaction I get when I explain that my father is French "from France, and not Haiti", and that "my mother is black from Guadeloupe, a French island in the Caribbean" is what started to really aggravate me. Mixed children are born with no real same combination of genes and features. I have three sisters and we all display different skin tones, body type and facial features. United Colors of Benetton could have hired us for their international billboards ads. I would have been the light skin woman with kinky hair and a muscular body and prominent behind! Everyone asked me the question, blacks, white, and Latinos among others, but there is a difference between white people and black people asking the question. The first group will have that surprised look as I announce the "French" part of my heritage, then a high pitch "really?" usually escapes their mouth as they start a cross examination with questions such as "not Haiti? Or a Brazilian background? Are you sure?" The need to discern where the black features on my face or body come from is always stronger than just accepting my answer. I guess every French person should come dress with a beret and a baguette at hand while singing "La vie en rose" and having Pepé le Pew on a leash. This is exactly what bothers me when the question comes from a white person. Most of the time, they look disappointed when I explain that I am a mixed child born from a black woman and a white man, as they were expecting a more exotic and interesting explanation. When I usually return the favor, they often look surprised and simply answer " I'm from here" or "I'm from New York." I have yet encountered someone who would explain "My mother's family came from Poland, and my father's side fled England for a better life in the State, and that is why I am white with green eyes!" So if they don't feel obligated to give me their geological tree story when I ask them, why should I?